When the fox found the Father
by Fictionmaker5000
Summary: What happened after the hot priest left Fleabag at the bus stop? And, actually what was his real name?


I waited at the bus stop, hoping he would follow me.  
There was a slight chill in the air, but I felt a fuzzy feeling I was becoming accustomed to warming up my insides. NOT my loins…..Well maybe my loins too  
I saw him walking casually up the street, his hands in his pockets and head down low so I couldn't make out his expression.  
When he came within a few feet of the bus stop he looked up with that smirk on his face that he seem to wear a lot I had come to notice.  
I couldn't help but smile back at him, it was involuntary. Bastard.

"You nailed it" I spoke with a mixture of a laugh

He gave a small knowing chuckle.  
He sat down terribly close, touching in fact. I made out I was looking at the electronic time table above us but in fact it was just to buy me some time of what I needed to ask next.  
I hadn't realised he had been looking up too. So as I turned around I was now just looking at the back of his beautiful head. Shit better not say crap like that as some how he'll bloody hear me again!

**43 minutes.**

"They always lie, it'll magically come in a minute" He spoke aloud to no one in particular, as he looked down the street in the direction the bus should be coming from.  
I was hoping he was wrong. He sat up straight, now looking at the floor. That nervous shifting of his body weight from side to side he did too often  
"Yeah" He just needed to break the silence with any word.  
I felt his nervous energy rubbing off on me. Fuck. Come on girl! He's a man, men are easy. Well normally, especially if God isn't involved!  
"They're, they're really into each other, those two, it's nice"  
"Yeah, they really pulled it off" Well dad did anyway, stepmother was in her own artisan dreamland. I could have swapped dad out for a goat and I don't think she would have noticed!  
"Was your sister OK? She seemed…" Oh he'd seen her leave mid service had he? I hope he wasn't offended.  
I thought he did a cracking job! He must have done, there were so few of us there. I cut him off  
"Yeah she, um, she had to run off…."  
"A bit on edge"  
"To a work thing"  
"Wow dedicated!"  
OK this was a mess, we were just nervously talking over each other, knowing full well we were both stalling for time as to why we were both sat at this piss covered bus stop  
"Addicted" I laughed through a shiver

There was a pause. I heard him sigh heavily and then we were actually looking at each other for the first time since he had come and sat down.  
And that's when I saw it. Shit. He'd decided. He looked pained and worn down.  
There was a hint of a sad smile that reached his eyes and I slowly felt my heart start to crumble.  
There was silence.  
Apart from this really annoying twinkly music that could just fuck right off!

I was brave "It's God isn't it?" I didn't need the answer  
He blinked "Yeah" nodding his head in such a way it felt like he was apologising  
I could feel I was mirroring his actions but smiling. I'm not sure why, I was devastated.  
I thought he was going to say  
"_fuck it, God isn't that important, is he? We had sex for fuck sake, of course I'll give up him for you!"_  
He didn't.

"Damn" I shook my head and looked away. I wanted to cry but I needed to adjust.  
Stiff upper lip and all that girl!  
"Damn" I repeated  
Shit. What have I got to lose?  
We were looking directly at each other again, my eyes strayed to his soft lips and then back up to his gentle, lovely caring eyes  
"You know, the worst thing is…..that I fucking love you"  
I laughed as the words spilled from my mouth. As I did, I shook my head in disbelief at what I was hearing. For the first time ever I'd truly been in love and this was how I was saying it. To a man who I had no future with, and it wasn't with the guy who had given me nine orgasms in a row. It was a priest, Fuck!  
If you'd told me that a year ago, I would have told you, you were lying!  
He blinked again, I could see the beginning of tears in his eyes. Shit please tell me he's not about to do it.  
"I love you" I repeated. I didn't want or need to hear his response  
He opened his mouth to talk, his eye now glistening in the yellow bus shelter lights  
"No, no don't"  
He closed his mouth shut  
I scrunched up my nose wishing I hadn't just made an absolute tit of myself there and looked away  
"No, let's just leave that out there for just a second on it's own" If those words were now floating about it space they were much safer on their own

I had to have a glimpse of him again. Like a child who was told not to look at the sun because you'll go blind, but you do anyway for the excitement and to see if you would or if it was just all bollocks  
"I love you" He was my sun.

He took his gaze off me and I watched as he peered down and found my hands with his. Gently he twisted his hand in between mine and laced his fingers with my own. I glanced down, admiring such a simple gesture.  
He was staring at me again.

Suddenly he spoke. And it seemed like I'd been the one talking forever.  
"It'll pass"  
I didn't believe him.  
I wondered if I kissed him, would he still believe what he was trying to convince himself of as much as me?

I wanted to cry. I was going to cry. Fuck.

He pulled his hand from mine and I felt naked and vulnerable.  
"This bus isn't going to magically appear" I quipped  
"I think I'll walk"  
He began to stand up and I was no longer touching any part of him  
"OK" I was defeated  
He walked past me, eye down again. My gaze followed him until he turned back around just past the shelter  
"Uh, see you Sunday?" He smirked  
I laughed and so did he  
"I'm joking. You're never ever allowed in my church again"  
I chuckled at his silly joke. His joke that also wasn't a joke  
"I love you too" He casually let slip  
Suddenly my crumbling heart had broken completely in two. I couldn't deny now that this wasn't a one-sided thing. He'd said the one thing that made everything real.

Now I was crying. Bastard. But so was he.

He shook his head "OK" we both knew if we saw each other again it would be an awkward exchange in passing.  
He waved a small goodbye and turned on his heels.  
A black figure off into the night.

Ah shit! And just then I looked up and saw the sign reading my magic bus was cancelled.  
I glanced back out towards the road and saw a fox looking up at me. It stopped, alerted I was paying it any mind.  
"He went that way" I pointed in the direction the priest had gone. Maybe they really were after him all this time.  
Ah well, the dick had just destroyed my soul, if I had one that is. He deserved to get eaten by foxes.  
The animal stalked past me seemingly taking note of this information.

I picked my bag off the floor and routed around until I felt that cold feeling of boobs. Pulling out the figure, I turned it around and gave it a squeeze, thinking of my mother.  
They had been happy, her and my father. I sat there and thought about the stolen kisses I had seen between them as she made dinner or the sly grab of the arse as dad thought we weren't paying attention.  
Then suddenly came a very high pitched and familiar squeal.

I laughed out loud as I clutched the status of my mother. I guess Mr Fox had found Father.

I got up and began walking down the street, the opposite way to the priest, contemplating what my life had become. I looked up at the sky  
"Can we not just share him? You have him spiritually and I'll have him physically? I hear polyamorous relationships are all the rage at the minute"  
As I carried on, a black cab pulled up next to me  
"Looking for a taxi?" Was this God's way of saying yes?  
I didn't have any money on me but that hadn't stopped me before. Normally a flash of tit would cover the cost.

I knocked on the large wooden door.

You know when you realise you're in love with a guy who happens to be in a relationship with an outer worldly being but you seem to of made some sort of pact with said being and are just popping around to check a fox hasn't eaten the love of your life? Yeah just one of those nights. It was way past 9:30pm. He was guaranteed to be in bed now, I don't think he'd left the wedding until way past 11.

There was no response. Maybe the fox had gotten him.  
I knocked again impatiently. Nothing. Fuck.  
I looked around for a small pebble and threw it up at the window. It pinged off but created no movement inside.  
I picked up a slightly larger one and threw it again.  
As it made contact with the stained glass, I thought shit! And just like that it smashed through one of the small panels and a light was turned on almost immediately.  
I ran off down the path like a child, to a bush hoping not to of been caught.  
What was I thinking coming here after he'd made it so obvious it wasn't going to happen. He was clearly ignoring me. At least this way I could save face and he would just think it had been some hoodlum that had broken the window.  
I began making my way further down the gravel path after a few minutes, when the light had finally gone off again. It was then that I noticed a figure walking up the opposite way.  
It was the priest.  
SHIT!  
It must have been Pam I'd woken.  
He still carried the suit bag he had left with, his shirt open now and his dog collar hanging off to one side.  
He drank from an open can. A G&T can I'm certain, as always.  
"Hi?" he glanced up perplexed when he noticed me, like a deer in the headlights  
"Hi, just checking the fox didn't catch up with you" Well done. Casual.  
"Ah" he took another swig "YOU told him where I was!"  
I couldn't help but laugh and give a little shrug  
"Well you know, you break a girl's heart and she's gotta send in the big guns"  
It was then I noticed his trousers were ripped, scuffed at the knee and his shiny shoes were covered in dirt  
"Well" he drank again "He got me" he gestured down to his soiled trousers  
"Wanna come in?" he continued "I have more inside" he rattled the can  
I was beginning to think he might be an alcoholic  
"You sure?" I questioned. I wasn't sure what was with us. One minute we were being awkward and one of us would say the wrong thing and then the next time we'd just forget all that had happened before. It seemed a common theme with us.  
"You said I wasn't allowed back in your church"  
"Ah you owe me now though. You sent the devil animal after me, knowing full well I let you in on my little secret about them. You at least owe me one drink" he paused "And I can't seem to ask you to go away" he tilted his head in the direction of the door with that little smirk playing at the corners of his mouth  
I watched as he walked past  
"OK"

We were sat at the familiar table in his living room, trying to be quiet because god forbid we woke up Pam again! Cans all over the table, they'd finished a while ago and we had now switched to vodka  
"So what happened with the fox?"  
"Well, he stalked me for a little while, I screamed. Ran. And then fell down a fucking ditch"  
I tried to stifle a laugh  
"What made you come here really?" His tone had changed  
"Because I'm a glutton for punishment" I joked "I made a pact with God after you left" I continued  
He raised an eyebrow  
"You?...and Him?" He glanced to the ceiling whilst sipping his drink  
"Yep"  
"Care to share?"  
"Well" I drank more "He agreed we could share you, body and soul"  
"He told you that?"  
"Yep. I'd have your body and he could have your soul"  
He grinned wickedly "Are you sure you weren't making a deal with the devil? I'm not sure it's God who trades in souls, it's normally the other guy" He pointed towards the floor  
I nodded "He even sent a taxi…..I love when he does that" I took another swig and I couldn't help but smile thinking back to the time he had said the same thing after a painting crashed to the floor  
"Touché"  
"I broke your window by the way" I blurted out  
"Huh?"  
"The window upstairs. I broke it"  
"Why?" He seemed confused about the sudden turn in conversation  
"It was an accident. I threw a stone at it"  
"Yeah…..yeah that'll break it"

There was silence, we stared at each other for a little while. The sexual tension was too hard to ignore, and I felt like I was participating in some awful romantic comedy

"What's your name by the way?" I asked. It had never occurred to me before now to find out. Though he had been right, I did get off a little bit on calling him _Father_  
"Ah, if I tell you that I'd have to kill you and that is certainly against my moral compass" He smirked  
"We're going to have sex again aren't we?" he questioned  
"I'm afraid so"

And just like that, there were hands everywhere. He grasped at my face as he kissed me hard.  
Pushing me away from him, he grabbed for my hand and led me to the bottom of the stairs.  
I kissed him this time, just as forcefully as before as I began fumbling with his shirt buttons  
"Shhh Pam" he pulled away and pointed up into the dark

As we entered his room I didn't really take much in apart from the wooden bed and a simple side table with a lamp set up and of course his bible.  
Again, hands were everywhere. Clothes were thrown on and floor and as we were getting nearer to the act he suddenly stopped, looking down at me underneath him  
"What are we doing?" He panted  
"Sex?" I was confused  
"Clearly I don't have any condoms"  
"There's some in my handbag" Well that didn't make me sound like a whore at all!

He got up and crept out of the room, I heard him go down the stairs and scrabble around looking in my bag. As he was coming back up, I caught the sound of another door open

"Father? Are you OK?"  
"Um, yes fine Pam sorry, just needed a glass of water"  
He was only in his pants.  
"But you don't have one"  
I stifled a giggle, He sound like he was about to be told off by his mum  
"No…..um no thought better of it, don't want to be getting up in the middle of the night"  
It was the middle of the night.  
"OK Father, sleep well" I heard Pam close her door and watched as he came back in, leaning against the door as soon as he'd closed it  
"Shit!" He rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair. Way too sexy of an image!

He was on top of me again now and it was magically. I mean not nine times magical, but it was pretty fucking special. It felt more meaningful and there was a connection with him I'd never experienced with anyone else. I guess that was the love part.

I looked over his shoulder and there was a painting of Jesus staring at us, hanging on the wall judging what I was doing to one of his followers  
"Oh Jesus!"  
"Urgh I know!" he moaned into my shoulder  
"Suddenly an animalistic noise left his body and I knew he was spent

"Father? Are you OK in there?" Fucking Pam!  
"Umm… yeah sorry I was just doing my final prayer!" He called back "I'm finished now, I'm sorry!"  
"OK, as long as you're OK in there"  
"Yes I'm fine. Don't come in! See you in the morning Pam, I'll be more quiet next time!"

We lay there in a comfortable silence for a while, I lay in the crook of his arm before I pushed myself up until I was facing him, resting on my elbow  
"How is this going to work?" My eyes followed the contours of his arms, up over his shoulder and finally his neck.  
_His beautiful, beautiful neck_  
until I reached his eyes  
"What is your obsession with my neck?"  
He paused and smirked "And I have no fucking idea"


End file.
